Holiday Bowl: An Inept Sack Of Suck

Remind me which team in the Holiday Bowl was ranked again? In one of the most insipid bowl performances in history, Nebraska did what few before them have ever done: beat a team by 35 on the road during the regular season and get totally owned by them in the bowl game. Keep something in mind- Washington didn’t have a few starters playing either. Credit where its due, the Nebraska defense showed up to play. Jake Locker completed only 5 passes for 56 yards and caught another for 16 more. That’s it. 72 passing yards. So at least the secondary came ready to play. The rest of the team? Not so much.

I hope voters were watching this game and don’t rank Nebraska anywhere near the top 25. This was so bad. It makes you wish they had played West Virginia in the battle of who wants it less. Now that would have been an intense game…and by game I mean teenage girl pillow fight.

The bright spot is that North Carolina and Tennessee did not disappoint. What a game! At least I picked one right winner yesterday. And how about the traditionally sacred Pinstripe Bowl? Kansas State got the SHAFT big time. If you watched the Tennessee Volunteers immediately following you would have seen not one, not two, not three but at least four salutes! That’s just the ones I saw! And don’t forget Tyler Bray turning to the UNC sideline after the OT touchdown pass and making a chopping-off-the-head gesture…followed by what can only be described as a hail Hitler salute. Yeah, classy program. Shouldn’t that have been something like 100 yards of penalties between all those celebrations? Tennessee really got a break…or the right officiating squad who throws the flag according to a different set of rules than that other Big Ten officiating squad at New York.

So yeah, yesterday had some highs and lows for sure. With that in mind I would like to hand out some meaningless bowl performance awards that mean as much as bowl victory anyway.

First, the top 3 performances of the day go to…

3. The whole football program at Army. First bowl win in a long time, and against a team that destroyed Nevada in their bowl game last year. Nicely done.

2. T.J. Yates for having the sense to spike the ball with 1 second left and not cost his team the game because no one know what the heck to do at the end of the game.

1. The Washington defense and not Jake Locker. I have to point that out since apparently Jake Locker and his family have paid off everyone at ESPN. Did anyone else notice that? Everything he did received praises of the announcers, with gems like:

“Incredible, look at how he avoided going out of bounds! What a smart play!” (Since no one else has ever avoided the sideline)
“Even though he hasn’t completed any passes or rushed for any significant yards, it’s those little things he’s doing well.” (No, it was the defense that won that game)
“Locker gets sacked again, but boy he looks good doing it, doesn’t he? He sure knows when to take a sack.” (And everyone at ESPN took a sack…of money…from Jake Locker. Not other explanation for it, unless they’re all plain delusional.)

Jake Locker is a great athlete and will probably be a good QB in the NFL. But let’s call a duck a duck please. Jake Locker did not have a good college career. Blame it on his coaches or receivers or O line or something, but please don’t remove all credibility from yourself by pretending this kid did anything remotely special in college.

And now, for my top three awards for inept sacks of suck…

3. Tyler Bray, QB at Tennessee. Talk about one arrogant, cocky, stupid son-of-a-gun. Nothing more satisfying than seeing him cry on the sideline at the end of the game. Losing a meaningless bowl game must really hurt…if you are the clown who threw the worst interception in history that cost his team the game. That’s why you never get cocky in sports, you will inevitably make a mistake and bloggers like me will make you pay for it.

2. Big Ten officiating. Seriously, a salute to the fans draws any more attention to yourself than jumping up and down like a wild hyena? And if it truly is an offense worthy of a penalty flag, why didn’t they officiating team from the SAME CONFERENCE see things differently when Tennessee saluted a couple hundred times? I throw my flag at the Big Ten for inconsistent, sucky officiating.

1. Nebraska’s offense. How you put up 56 points the first time and a mere 7 this time is baffling. Nebraska knew they were the superior team as they had amply proven that earlier in the season. So why not take care of business the first half, score 35 points and let the backups take it from there? My guess is that Nebraska had to prove they could fit in the Big Ten so they gave a performance befitting their new conference. Take that Rockin Eric. 🙂

We’re about halfway through the bowl games and when they are done I will review each conference and I promise to give a fair assessment. Which conference has been most impressive to you so far?